AWKWARD

Here's the scene: the members of the Shapiro family are all sitting nicely around a coffee table playing scrabble and Grey's Anatomy happens to be on tv in the background.

I'm not exactly paying attention to which episode it is, figuring it's like last week's or whatever. little do I know Erica is about to have her crazy emotional COMING OUT cry-fest with Callie. I mean really!!! So my father's watching and trying to figure out who she's sleeping with cause he obviously doesn't watch Grey's and he's a little taken aback seeing as how his semi-out daughter is sitting to his right. So I keep texting on my phone trying to pretend I'm oblivious to the RAINBOW FEST that's playing "out" on the tv about 2 feet away from me.. when... I happen to look up and catch my sister trying to guage my father's reaction. LIKE HELLO. I know what that look means. She sees me watching her and immediately goes back to typing on her laptop obviously telling one of her friends about the drama unfolding.

THIS WOULD HAPPEN TO ME.

Seriously, I decided early today that I wanted to try and make my family less World War II-esque and more Brady Bunch... for what reason? 19 years later means its long overdue. There's enough family drama between my cousins and aunts to last me a lifetime, let's try to keep it "all in the family" if you know what I mean. Either way I figured it be nice bonding time playing scrabble, which it was, until... the gay celebration trampeded right through.

So yeah... it totally made things awkward, especially since lil sis doesnt know I'm out, although she's probably guessed by now. I'm also thinking she's dawning some rainbow stripes too. So EPIC fail to that attempt. SERIOUSLY.

Hippy

So I forgot to blog about this and I couldn't think of anything to write these past few days...

A few weekends ago, I was working at Bureau En Gros when in came a peculiar looking man. Now he had this homeless/hippy/I dont shower kind of air to him and I was seriously weirded out by the dude. Obviously, I was the only free associate at the time and had to help him with his printer issues. Needless to say his printer needed replacing, so I set him up with all sorts of stuff he'd need and he was grateful.

The more time I spent with him, the more and more he looked familiar and was less weird. Anyways, we're at the cash and I'm just about to tell him to have a nice day when he turns to me and says do you recognize me? At this point I'm freaking out a bit, cause how did he know I thought he was familiar? Then he suddenly says I'm from the volkswagon commercial!!

So naturally I'm all like: OH MY GOD, that's where you're from (I had actually ran into my parents room about two weeks before exclaiming how genius the commercial was cause my Dad loves shit like that). So he didnt believe me, and he's all like yeah so what's it about?

At this risk of being rude I didnt want to be all like: it's about a bunch of washed out hippies who cant let go of the woodstock days and their old beat up vw vans, and finally vw has come out with a new revamped van from the past. SO instead I mumbled about some old folks reminiscing about the old vw and he got all excited cause I ACTUALLY knew who he was.

He then proceeded to tell me he makes $710 every time it plays and it's on about 7 channels, now I've seem the commercial at least 2 dozen times AND I rarely see commercials due to PVR, so I'm assuming its on A LOT. he also casually mentioned it's on for 91 weeks.

So i'll break down the math for you:

if it plays ONCE per day on just ONE of the 7 channels for SEVEN days per week, for NINETY-ONE weeks, the homeless-looking dude I served is making over $450 000. How fucking insane is that?

Anyways, he also told me that he was in several other documentaries and movies because he's actually a true hippy with a civil and what I'll call his "flower-child" name and that he was in the Bob Dylan movie and several other features on the true hippy lifestyle.

Anyways the guy was friggin cool!

If you haven't seen the commercial and have zero clue what I'm talking about he's in several scenes, namely the last one with the old broad on the balcony (p.s. his real life wife).

Raising the Bar, Raised the Bar

Alright so I watched a show on TNT that I've never seen before called Raising the Bar. I guess it's your stereotypical law show about a firm and the people that surround it - the lawyers, the defendants, the victims, the judge, etc. 

What struck me as WOW was the fact that one of the judiciaries is GAY. Yes, that's right a successful MALE, is now fully portrayed as a closeted gay. Not that the closeted part is groundbreaking but the way in which it was handled was impressive. After Mr. Closet's boyfriend is arrested for distribution of E, he asks his lawyer best friend to take the case, who obviously says yes (awww to best friend love). After the best friend jumps through hoops and gets the bf off with barely any consequences, Mr. Closet breaks up with flaming bf in a very heartfelt and respectful way. Lawyer best friend drags Mr. Closet up the roof, and tells him to be real, that he's jeopardizing his career by not publicly admitting he's gay. Mr. Closet sheds some tears, and lawyer best friend gives him a really cute hug. (awww to best friend love). 

Now that's all cute and everything but there was a whole other scene that made me go ape shit for the show. Cute, nerdy lawyer guy has a major crush on his boss. Now the whole interracial stuff makes it cute too, cause he totally looks past it but the line he feeds her... babe, eat your heart out. So here's how it breaks down.

She sees one of his past young clients flirting with him. He goes to talk to her and she mentions that he shouldn't get involved. Conversation dwindles and he walks away... Later that day he invites her to drinks with the rest of the firm and she declines. He then says I'm not sure if I catch onto everything, but did I perhaps, not catch onto you being jealous before? She naturally says he's wrong. and as he puts on his jacket and walks out the door he turns around, melodramatically, of course, and says: "Just for the record, if you told me you were single, you'd be the only girl that existed" and I....died. It was just so intolerably cute.

Now that's all folks. Loved the show.

Sorry for being M.I.A.

so its been nearly impossible for me to keep up with blogging these past few days for several reasons: 

a) tv is amazing. priveleged is my new favorite show!!!! ahhhhhhhhh

b) this reading for school is getting way out of hand. seriously, i have at least 288 pages of reading due by next friday, that is absurd. That is approximately 40 pages a night for the next 7 nights. and the 40 pages of reading and hilighting takes me at least 2-3 hours.  and im not even making notes! kill me now. plesae.

anyhow here's my life update:

monday night roadrunner texts me saying she needs me to come get her which is all fine and dandy since i have no clue where she is. so i agree minutes after she sends me a second message saying that shes going to kill herself. so obviously this is no happy scenario. after texting me two street names in the South Shore. seriously, do jews live in the south shore? cause as far as I'm concerned nice little jewish girls from cote st luc do not belong in longeuil! cmon! anyhow after 30 minutes of trying to figure out how to EVEN get to the southshore (ps u take st. jacques to highway 10 take a right when you get to university). so once ive arrived she tells me that her friend recently moved to the south shore and has no idea how to direct me to her house in the middle of ruchusville and ville de ruchus. so after 45 minutes of aimless driving i finally get ahold of a map at a dep at a gas station (ps did i mention i left my wallet at home and have no license or cash?) anyhow i finally get to her friends house. who btw lives in a piss-smelling house with dirty barking dogs and boxes everywbere. futhermore it smelled like she tried to hotbox her basement seeing as how there was THAT much smoke filtering (or rather unfiltered) through the place.anyways by the time i get there her and her half naked friend have already made up. so i sit there involuntarily getting lung cancer for what seems like an eternity trying to resolve high school issues: shes insensitive but she overreacts, yadayadayada. seriously. get a life!

finally, roadrunner decides to leave (1am - i left my house at 10:20) i get back to the plateau at 1 15ish and we sit and talk til 2 15am about all the issues shes dealing with. seriously, she needs a psych warden of her own. the girls got problems, thats all i know. so the end of this story is that ive got to try and stop saving people because im sacrificing sleep time for it. second of all a nice jewish girl from cote st luc should never be expected to go to the south shore/longeuil. and third, chain smoking is repugnant. 

tuesday night i went to 153 to train Out of Towner, the new employee at 153, thanks to yours truly. anyhow, i went to say hi and ended up training her on the cash for 3 hours, sans paiement. c'est fou, non? right so i should probably speak to Jamaican Gangster about that ASAP. i no workie pro bono. thats for rich individuals who have no problem parting with their hard earned moolah. that criterion clearly excludes me from that category.

wednesday night i had my stupid neurbiology/neuroscience class for no reason. 2.5 hour scheduled lecture lasting 45 minutes. seriously miss, what the hell you thinking? plus atp, mrna, rna, and suck-my-balls all sound the same to me, how about definitions, explanations. its not a review for those of us who arent neursocientists already. thanks and come again. seriously my ass is going to fail this class so hard. im going to have to teach myself the whole cours, which quite frankly, theres a reason i dont have a teaching degree - cause i cant damn teach. anyhow thats a bridge im going to cross when the test becomes imminent, as of now, im going to get settled in, no use in freaking myself the fuck out.

today i had basketball tryouts for the team im coaching (just to be clear - not my tryouts, as in i did not run, shoot, or dribble) with Coach, who ps, is super excited about bambino that he's taking 5 weeks of paternity leave, who says we dont live in a modern world? booya! its always nice to catch up with an old friend, literally, hes 32 now, woah! 

anyhow, im currently sitting on my bum typing when i should be reading 40.71 pages per day i should actually be doing or whatever. so moving along. 

love and kisses to whoevers reading this, but there should only be three of you. 

ill see one of you tuesday at 1:30, ill speak to the other tonight at some point on msn and the third should be rocking out at EC and facebook messaging me hopefully soon. all in good time i guess. peace out for now but not for always.