What Would I Do Without You?

For a really long time the PostSecret picture below was my laptop background. You may have noticed I said was. That is because it has been replaced.For as long as I can remember, that picture symbolized my biggest fear in life: that I would be missed by no one, loved by no one and remembered by no one. Moreover, I worried that I hadn't made a big enough impact on my friends. To the point that moving on without me wouldn't be a big problem. I guess the past few weeks have really changed all that. My best friend, V, the person I rely on the most in this world, the person who understands me like no one else, puts up with me like no one else and makes me laugh and cry like no one else, left me to pursue her dreams at college. The night before V left, as I gave her that final hug goodbye it suddenly dawned on me that it wasn't really a goodbye. Her "absence" would be a testament to how strong our friendship really was. What better test is there than long distance? None. Either we keep in touch or we don't, there are no other options, no guarantees and certainly no apology that would repair what could potentially be lost. All the years of worrying about the outcome of our friendship, will it last? won't it last? come down to the next few months of us being apart, not the past six years of us being close by. It amazed me that I could have gotten this all wrong. For years, I had believed that actions speak louder than words, yet I had never practiced what I preached. Over the years, I would always beg and plead to know if V thought our friendship would make it, every fight I would ask and get a standardized answer, "yeah, of course, why not?". Those words always seemed hollow, understated, and insincere and now I finally know why! I needed the proof, the concereteness of the evidence to justify her statement. All I can say is this. Our friendship has never proved to be as strong as it is now. Seeing her attempts to make this work despite the 300 miles between us, makes me feel like the next few months won't be so bad, that our friendship will not only survive but strengthen in each other's absences. The facebook messages, the text messages and the msn conversations have yet to cease, and so our friendship remains strong as ever.As I bid farewell to the laptop background that haunted my fears and left me feeling weak and vulnerable, I surrender myself to the text message that made them vanish:

"Thx for being there for me I wouldn't be able to do all this without u ttyl."

And V?, I couldn't have gotten this far without you either. Good luck at EC, I'm rooting for you.